Bigyani Das
Too many good books! Hindi books, Odia books and English books. What to buy? What to read? When to read?
Too many nice movies! Netflix movies, HBO movies, Ollywood movies, Bollywood movies! What to watch? When to watch?
So many parties! Where to go? When to go? Where is the time?
So much of nice music! So easy to get the music from the internet! What to listen? When to listen?
So many memories! Where to store? When to retrieve? When to use? Where is the time to immerse in those memories?
Six years back I enrolled in a class to learn music. Two other friends joined. A batch of younger children aged between 6-10 also enrolled at the same time. At the end of two years, the children had picked up very fast. They knew how to play notes to several songs. Compared to them we were so far behind. Even though because Odia was our first language, we were singing properly, however, as regards anything that was new like using notes to play the instrumental music in the harmonium or keyboard, took us more time than the children. We realized that our brains were almost full. There were no spaces to store the newly learned skills unless we let go some of the stored memories of more than fifty years. I made a statement, “if we appear any high school level entrance examination for college now, we all would fail”.
This was my brain, the same brain that was super active. During childhood, it could remember many things, very quickly and retrieve the memories very quickly too, just instantly and exactly. However, at this age, my brain is full of so many things, so much knowledge, mathematics, physics, biology, biomedical engineering, numerical analysis, music, stories, drama, so many memories, experienced and stored very carefully, stacked over each other, may be layer by layer, who knows?
Until I went to college in 1978, I had probably seen 2-3 Odia movies that were shown in portable projections during Dashahara celebration in Ramachandrapur, Bari. During college days, I stayed in hostel and probably saw 3-4 movies during 4 years of my stay in Shailabala Womens’ college and may be another 2-3 movies during my 2-3 years in Vanivihar, Bhubaneswar. I remembered all those movies, all those characters and all those acting and scenes.
Within last 6-7 years, I have probably seen more than 200 movies including Hindi, Odia and English movies. I have watched so many serials in YouTube. I have seen many Broadway shows and attended so many performances. Do I remember any of them? Am I being mesmerized by any such performances or movies? Do I feel some special connection with the stories of movies I watch or performances I attend? No! It seems even the best show does not put that much effect on me as my first Odia movie “Sindura Bindu” had put on me about 40 years back. Everything has become routine, common and normal part of life. No special effects, no special attraction.
Now, in USA every moment creates a lot of memorable experiences. Just within the last two days, between December 24th and December 25th I had accumulated so much memories. I took 228 pictures of these memories, walking in Kings’ Street of old town, Alexandria, VA, the decorated streets, the lighted Christmas trees, Santa statue and the water-front park decorations. I took pictures of my eldest daughter’s house, where she had arranged a small party inviting our family and Siddharth, our friend’s son. Her husband Mark had baked bread, a very distinctly designed bread that looked so photogenic that one would not feel like eating and destroying its look. I took pictures of the baked and seasoned carrots, cranberry chutney and brussels sprouts that my daughter had cooked, very tasty American dishes that I had misjudged before and thought of not even tasting.
And today, on Wednesday, December 25th, the day of Christmas, I took more pictures. Christmas music was in the background. The decorative lights on the Christmas tree were on and beautiful. Even though we are Hindus, we still celebrate Christmas for the celebration purposes, not its religious value. We become kind to each other of course and nice as Santa Claus would have wanted the children to follow. My eldest daughter and her husband just arrived. It was 10 AM. They first ate breakfast and then around 10:30 AM the gift opening ritual started. First it started with opening of the stockings. We were five members in the family, two parents and three daughters. This year my eldest daughter got married and we had 6 members in the family. Two of my eldest daughters each adopted a dog. And now the dogs are included in the family. I captured pictures of opening of the stockings of the dogs and then each of other family members. Then we opened the gifts that were kept under the Christmas tree. Each member got a gift from another member, feeling excited, saying “wow” and giving hugs to the giver (givers). And I was taking pictures.
Then a family friend came with his two daughters. We had lunch together. I also captured some pictures. After everything is done, I tried to check those pictures and then I kept in the Google Photo Site to share with the family and friends. I counted, 228 pictures in total.
After I had purchased my Nikon DSLR camera 4-5 years back, I was trying to take more pictures. First reason is to be used to capturing best portraits and the second reason is to capture the moments? As the years passed, I have captured thousands and thousands of pictures, for monthly bhajan program, for events in friend’s houses, for events in our house, for Holi, for Rathayatra, for OSA (The Odisha Society of Americas) national events as well as chapter events, for Arya dance events, weddings in our family, weddings in Maryland, for my international and national trips and so on.
I had no pictures of mine until I passed high school. I do not know how I looked as a child. My children missed to see my childhood picture to compare with them. In 1978 summer, I went to Jajpur town in a rickshaw to have my passport size portraits taken so that I could fill-up the college application form. Now almost everyday I take so many pictures, sometimes in my iphone and sometimes in my Nikon DSLR camera. Memories are many. Every moment is so precious. Sometimes I feel that I am addicted to taking pictures. My children complain, “Do not take so many pictures. Just enjoy the moment. Be in the moment. Experience the moment.” I understand, yet I open my handbag, remove my camera and then start clicking one after the other.
Now-a-days taking pictures is very easy. Everybody has a mobile phone and almost every mobile phone has the camera to take pictures. Some people are so much into photo sharing that their life is always live in the net, through Facebook, through Instagram, through Google Site, Flickr and so many other mediums. Even though I have distanced myself from becoming too much net-o-holic, yet, I am not completely free of those photo capturing and sharing attractions.
I do understand that too much of anything loses its value. “Ati Sarbatra Gahirtam” – Too much of everything is good for nothing. All types of food appeal the taste bud when someone is hungry. Even the best dish does not appeal the appetite after one already consumes a lot. I am not sure how the value factor will be used to attract the attentions of the consumers in future for the books, the music, the movies, the memories, the pictures, the performances and anything that is considered of highest value.
Only thing I now realize is that I must set control points. I must selectively choose what I do with my time after the week-long work for my profession. I must select a few out of plenty and that is not an easy task. Yet, I must do that. Otherwise, I would lose myself in this ocean of plenty and would float aimlessly with the current of the ocean.
Now, Christmas is over, but the Holiday season is not yet over. We will be going to a few selected parties to celebrate holidays and New-Year’s Eve with friends. I will be clicking my camera, taking pictures and then preserving in Google Photo Site to share with the friends. I will add some more pictures for the memories, for this world of plenty. Life will continue, may be with some control.
(Dr Das lives in Dayton, Maryland, US)
